Friday, December 14, 2007

The Reflection in the Mirror--How we treat others reflects our self esteem

The Reflection in the Mirror
Theresa Chaze

Self-esteem like water seeks to reach the same level. It is why people who like themselves, attempt to raise others up with praise and positive feedback, while those who dislike themselves do their best to tear others down. It is this dynamic that causes both stress and healing in the world.
Those who live life with a positive attitude find it easier to meet life’s challenges. The bumps in the road don't jostle them as much. Nor do they feel the need to control or manipulate others because they feel powerful within themselves. This doesn’t mean they are always happy or don‘t loose their temper, but they are more able to right themselves during emotional storms. Since they love and respect themselves, they are more able see life as an endless supply of possibilities. It is this vision of hope that they project to others not only in their words but also in their deeds. They are more able to help others without strings or condescension, because helping others is a gift they give to themselves, which not only aids the other person but also increases their own self-esteem.
On the other end of the spectrum, those who don't like themselves carry around a dark cloud around their head. Every incident in their life becomes a major crisis. However, it's not the outer world that is the source of their chaos; the anarchy radiates from the individual. Only they refuse to see it; instead, they blame their problems in their life on others or society as a whole. They don’t feel worthy of others’ love so they don‘t respect or trust those who care about them. It is this mind set what causes them to criticize and emotionally batter others. When they make others feel bad, they get a strange sense of satisfaction and a false sense of superiority. For a brief moment, they have positive self-image. Only the feeling of control never lasts, because the power is an illusion as is the positive self-worth. The only person an individual can truly control is themselves. Only this type of person refuses to look within to find the source of their pain. Instead of sharing hope with others, they spread doubt, fear and anger. It is all they have inside. They never realize that their behavior attacks their self-esteem, making them feel worse in the long run.
How we treat others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Every day we chose to be a blessing or a curse in our own lives. Positive actions and thoughts increase our self-esteem; however, deliberately harming others lowers our self-esteem and attacks our ability to meet life’s challenges.

No comments: